Why Christmas Is Emotionally Hard for So Many Kids (Especially ND Ones)
- theplayfulpsychologist
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
By Emily Hanlon
We all love the idea of Christmas... the joy, the magic, the candy cane-scented memories.
But behind the scenes? It’s a lot.
Especially for neurodivergent children.
The Disruption of Routine
During the holidays, structure often disappears:
Bedtimes are inconsistent.
Meals are unpredictable (and sugar-laden).
Activities vary day to day.
Social expectations increase.
For many kids, this can be exciting. But for others, especially our ADHD, autistic, anxious kiddos... it’s deeply destabilising.
Children thrive on predictability. It helps them feel safe. When that goes, so does emotional regulation.
Sensory Overload and Emotional Dysregulation
Holiday music playing everywhere. Flashing lights. Loud family gatherings. Scented candles. Hugs from unfamiliar relatives. All these stimuli pile up. And for kids who are sensitive to sound, light, touch, or smell, it can be too much.
What you may see:
Meltdowns or shutdowns
Clinginess
Aggression or defiance
Withdrawing or zoning out
This isn’t bad behaviour. It’s dysregulation.
Common Misunderstandings Around Behaviour
Well-meaning relatives might say:
“They’re just tired.”
“They’re being rude.”
“They need to toughen up.”
But children aren’t mini adults. They’re navigating complex sensory and emotional input with an underdeveloped nervous system. They need understanding, not judgment.
How to Support Your Child (Without Losing Yourself)
Maintain micro-routines: Even if everything else changes, stick to a few anchor points, like a quiet bedtime routine or a favourite snack.
Use visual schedules: For children who benefit from seeing what’s coming next, this creates a sense of control.
Build in recovery time: After social events, allow for decompression, screens off, lights low, no demands.
Prep the village: Let relatives know your child’s needs and boundaries ahead of time. Give them scripts if needed (e.g., “We don’t force hugs”).
Keep sensory tools close: Noise-cancelling headphones, fidgets, weighted lap pads — whatever helps your child regulate.
Give Yourself Permission to Do Less
You don’t need to go to every event. You don’t need to host the perfect party. You don’t even need to match your kids’ socks. You just need to honour your child’s needs, and yours. Quiet mornings and skipped events are just as valid as gingerbread house marathons and elf antics.
What This Teaches Your Kids
When you honour their limits, you teach them:
Self-awareness
Boundary setting
That they’re safe to be themselves
That’s powerful. And it lasts far beyond the festive season.
So remember, holidays don’t have to be overwhelming. When you lead with empathy, prepare with intention, and give yourself permission to opt out of the chaos, you create a season that supports your whole family’s wellbeing. That’s not just okay. That’s ideal.
Want more real talk and practical tools like this? Join The Family Forum, your go-to space for parenting support, psychology-backed strategies, and a community that truly gets it.
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