The Hidden Signs of ADHD in Women Most People Miss, And Why Diagnosis Often Comes Late

By Emily Hanlon

ADHD is often associated with hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and visible distraction. But for many women, it looks nothing like that. Instead, it hides in plain sight, disguised as anxiety, overachievement, emotional exhaustion, or being “too sensitive”.

These hidden signs are not just missed by the general public...they’re often missed by professionals too. In this article, I want to help you explore the less obvious ways ADHD shows up in females and why so many women only receive a diagnosis in adulthood. If this sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.

Secret #1: You’re Always “On” But Always Behind

Women with ADHD are often perfectionists, not because they’re naturally organised, but because they’re trying to stay afloat. The mental load is constant, but things still slip through the cracks. You may be:

• Forgetting appointments

• Missing deadlines

• Struggling with time blindness

• Overthinking simple decisions

And yet, from the outside, it can look like you’ve got it all together. That’s the exhausting paradox of ADHD in women, it’s invisible until it isn’t.

Secret #2: You Mask Like a Professional (Until You Burn Out)

Masking is the art of hiding neurodivergent traits to fit in. It’s something many girls learn young: smiling when they’re overwhelmed, working harder to meet unspoken expectations, avoiding conflict by blending in. Over time, this constant self-monitoring leads to emotional exhaustion, identity confusion, and burnout. You may not even realise you’re masking, until it feels impossible to keep up. This kind of burnout is especially common in women who are also caregivers, educators, or therapists themselves. They’re often the ones supporting others while silently falling apart.

Secret #3: Emotional Sensitivity That Feels Like “Too Much”

One of the most overlooked aspects of ADHD in females is emotional dysregulation. Many women describe it as:

• Feeling everything intensely

• Crying easily or “overreacting”

• Struggling with rejection or perceived criticism

These responses are often mislabelled as emotional instability or even “drama”. But they’re actually signs of a nervous system that’s wired to feel deeply, and gets overwhelmed easily.

This sensitivity, when understood and supported, can become a strength. But without recognition, it’s often a source of shame.

Why These Signs Are Missed (and What It Costs)

These signs are often written off as personality quirks or mental health issues. Girls who are struggling are told they’re anxious, too sensitive, lazy, or not applying themselves.

As adults, many women come to therapy feeling broken, confused, or like imposters in their own lives. Diagnosis often comes after years of seeking answers for “everything else”.

The cost is not just personal—it’s systemic. Untreated ADHD can lead to underemployment, mental health struggles, and a lifetime of feeling like you’re failing at something everyone else finds easy.

The Workshop That Changes the Way We Talk About ADHD in Women

This is why I created the ADHD in Females Workshop. It’s a space for clinicians to learn what ADHD really looks like, and how to support it in ways that are practical, compassionate, and research-informed.

We dive into topics like:

• Understanding the female ADHD presentation

• Supporting emotional regulation in children and adults

• Why masking and perfectionism are so prevalent

• How to practise neuroaffirming, trauma-informed support

This self-paced workshop is now available at an introductory price—and I’d love for you to join me Learn more and register here: ADHD in Females Workshop – The Playful Psychologist

If this blog made you feel seen, it’s because you are. The hidden signs of ADHD in women are only hidden because we’ve been told not to look for them.

The more we talk about these experiences, the more we create space for others to understand themselves.

You are not failing.

You are adapting.

And you deserve support that truly fits.