Why I Don’t Use a One-Size-Fits-All Approach for ADHD in Girls, And What I Do Instead

By Emily Hanlon

When working with ADHD, especially in girls, there is no “universal checklist” that neatly fits every individual. Yet, so many traditional frameworks are still based on male presentations or generic behavioural models. In my practice, I’ve moved away from one-size-fits-all strategies, not because they’re entirely wrong, but because they so often miss what actually matters.

Girls with ADHD often present very differently from boys. They are more likely to mask their symptoms, internalise their struggles, and carry a deep emotional burden. That’s why I’ve embraced an affirming, individualised approach, and it’s made all the difference for the families I support.

Why I Don’t Use a Standard ADHD Approach

When I first started working in child and adolescent psychology, most ADHD training focused on managing external behaviours; things like restlessness, impulsivity, and classroom disruptions.

These frameworks rarely addressed what girls with ADHD experience, such as:

• Emotional overwhelm and self-doubt

• Perfectionism and high-achieving “masking” behaviours

• Anxiety and people-pleasing patterns

• Social burnout and disconnection

Using the same strategies for every client felt ineffective and, at times, invalidating. I saw smart, sensitive girls slipping through the cracks because they didn’t "look ADHD enough." And that wasn’t good enough.

The Limitations of Traditional Models

Let’s look at what a one-size-fits-all model often misses:

1. It assumes all ADHD looks the same: Standard models often fail to reflect internalised symptoms like inattentiveness, emotional dysregulation, or mental fatigue.

2. It often ignores gendered experiences: Most diagnostic criteria were built from male-based research, which means girls and women are frequently underdiagnosed, or misdiagnosed.

3. It focuses on compliance over connection: Behavioural approaches can overlook relational and emotional needs, which are essential in supporting girls with ADHD long term.

These models may help with outward behaviours, but they rarely offer deep support for identity, confidence, or long-term regulation.

What I Do Instead: An Individualised Framework

In my clinical practice and when creating resources, I centre strategies that are:

• Neurodiversity-affirming: With a focus on understanding and supporting different brain wiring, not “fixing” it. This builds confidence and self-awareness.

• Play-based and relationa: lI use play and co-regulation to help children feel safe, engaged, and emotionally supported. Therapy should feel empowering, not clinical or prescriptive.

• Guided by the individual, not the diagnosis: Every girl I support has a unique profile. I tailor strategies to her emotional world, sensory needs, and communication style.

• Supportive for the whole system: Whether it’s working with parents, teachers, or clinicians, I prioritise practical tools that support the environment, not just the child.

The Role of Professional Development and Community

For early career psychologists and clinicians, this shift can feel daunting. We’re often trained in rigid, formulaic approaches. But there’s a growing community of neuroaffirming, reflective practice, and I believe in supporting that evolution.

Through supervision, resources, and training like The ADHD in Females Workshop, I aim to help clinicians feel confident making the switch from “tick-box therapy” to transformative, compassionate support.

A Workshop Designed with Real People in Mind

That’s why I created the ADHD in Females Workshop, a self-paced, introductory-priced training designed for clinicians, parents, and educators who want to better understand:

• What ADHD really looks like in girls and women

• How to support emotional regulation in neurodivergent kids

• Why neuroaffirming practice isn’t just more ethical, it’s more effective

If you’re ready to leave behind outdated approaches and support girls with ADHD in a more authentic, informed, and empowering way, this is for you.

Enrol now at the introductory price: ADHD in Females Workshop – The Playful Psychologist

This workshop is based on 34 years of lived experience, 10 years of clinical experience, and a solid year of research.

And at the end of the day, every single person deserves to feel seen, not just treated. And every clinician deserves tools that work in the real world, not just the textbook.

If you’ve been rethinking how you support ADHD in your practice or your home, now is the time to embrace a new approach. You’re not alone, and there’s a whole community ready to support you.

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