5 Things I’m Doing Differently to My Parents & Why It Matters for My Kids

By Emily Hanlon

Parenting today comes with an incredible privilege, and a responsibility. We’re the generation with more: more information, more professional insights, more access to conscious tools for raising emotionally aware, resilient kids. That doesn’t mean our parents “got it wrong,” but it does mean we’re in a position to do it differently. And that’s what I’m choosing to do. As a mum of three and a clinical psychologist, Here are five things that I am choosing to do differently.

1. I Don’t Make My Kids Finish Everything on Their Plate

Growing up, “finish your plate” was a standard rule. It was rooted in good intentions: waste not, want not, but it also ignored our internal cues. Now, I see my role differently: I decide what is served; my children decide how much they eat. This approach builds trust, promotes autonomy, and teaches them to listen to their bodies. This is so important, as it supports intuitive eating, builds self-trust, and removes shame from food.

2. My Kids Don’t Have to Hug Anyone…Yep, Even Family

Bodily autonomy starts early. If my children feel uncomfortable giving a hug or kiss, even to someone they see regularly, I support their choice. In many cultures, this is still seen as rude or disrespectful, but to me, it’s about consent and self-respect.

I want them to trust their instincts and feel safe saying no, not just now, but in their teenage years and beyond.

3. There Are No Time-Outs…We Stay With Our Kids in the Tough Moments

In the past, behavioural outbursts were punished with isolation: timeouts, being sent to your room, or shame-based discipline. But behaviour is communication. It’s often the result of overwhelming emotions, not defiance. That’s why we don’t remove our children from connection when they’re struggling. We sit with them, stay with them, and help them navigate what they’re feeling while holding clear, respectful boundaries. Using a ‘time in’ in place of a ‘time out’ builds emotional safety, reduces shame, and fosters lifelong openness.

4. Mental Health > Academic Achievement (Always)

In earlier generations, grades and academic success were often the ultimate measure of a child’s worth. Not in our house. School performance matters, yes, but not more than our kids’ mental and emotional wellbeing. Kids are more than their report cards. Prioritising mental health teaches them that who they are matters more than what they achieve.

5. Emotional Expression Is Always Welcome (Even the Big Feelings)

We don’t shut down tears. We don’t scold anger. We don’t label emotions as “good” or “bad.” Whether our kids are expressing joy, frustration, sadness, or fear, it’s all welcome here. Especially for our boys, this is radical. They’ll never be told “toughen up” or “boys don’t cry.” Because those messages aren’t toughening them up; they’re teaching them to suppress, hide, and disconnect. Emotional fluency is strength. Our kids deserve to be seen and accepted in their full human experience.

Remember, It’s Not About Blame; It’s About Breaking Cycles

I’m not writing this to criticise my parents or the generations before us. They did the best they could with what they knew. But now that we know more, we do better. Parenting is about progress, not perfection. My hope is that by changing the way we raise our kids today, we’ll raise a generation that feels safer, more connected, and more confident in who they are.n that feels safer, more connected, and more confident in who they are.

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